


You can't quit me, baby

by MechanicalHeart



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:56:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22532089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechanicalHeart/pseuds/MechanicalHeart
Summary: Kylo, still living at his mom's, sits inside and plays video games all day. He's a NEET, a stoner, a loser, a complete failure at life, or so Hux thinks.So why can't he stay away from him?
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 129





	You can't quit me, baby

**Author's Note:**

> This is all Adam Driver's doing, I swear, officer!  
> I used to be a strict Trekkie but I am weak and here I am today, writing Kylux smut and having the time of my life.  
> Hope you enjoy their lazy afternoon.  
> *This is a modern-day AU. I would say sometime around 2016.

A cacophony of noise greeted him from the driveway. Gunshots, explosions, distressed screams, breaking glass. It was so indescribably loud, even from where he was, on the other edge of the large garage door. As always. Hux wondered how Kylo could be in a closed room with all of it, in this maelstrom of sound, and not go deaf. How he could stand it. He had wondered about it every time he had heard it and he still had no answers. The same was true for the garbage he listened to that he chose to call 'music'.

He took a deep breath and collected himself. He then banged on the door. There was a metal plate fixed to it, saying ‘TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT’. It did not stop him. "Kylo."  
No reaction, just more abject noise.  
"Kylo. Kylo!"  
"Yeah, what?" could vaguely be heard through the door before Hux opened it.  
"Kylo."  
Kylo, seated on his unmade bed, stared at him with a frowny expression that was somewhere between 'incomprehension' and 'repulsion'. "Oh," he said, and turned his eyes back to the screen in front of him.  
"Oh," Hux imitated him. "Is that it?"  
"Yeah." Kylo snorted demonstratively and continued playing his Xbox. "Wasn't expecting you."  
"This is a spontaneous visit."  
"Sure is. I don't remember inviting you."  
"If you want me to leave, I will?"  
"Nah. I just wasn't expecting you. You know how fond I am of surprises." He grinned. The skin around his eyes was dark and he looked generally tired. "Just saying."  
"Edginess aside," Hux cast him a look he hoped would convey his disdain (it went ignored because Kylo was glued to the screen and didn't see it), "I thought I'd stop by. I have not seen you in... two months?"  
"Something like that." Kylo tore his eyes away from his game for a moment. "Wait. What the fuck are you wearing?"  
Hux raised his hands to his woolen pullover instinctively, only to quickly lower them again. "What do you mean?"  
"That preppy shit." Kylo had already been sucked into his game again but it didn't hinder his speech. "You look like you play golf. Or polo." He practically spit out the last word.  
"I don't play golf. Or polo."  
"You'd fit right in at the country club."  
Hux scoffed at the very idea. "I know nobody who goes there."  
"Ah, but you know that your college town has one, I deduce from that phrasing. And you probably know where it is, too."  
"It actually has more than one."  
"Jesus fucking Christ." Kylo stuck his hand in a bag next to him, on the chair next to the bed. He had one popcorn bag and one skittles bag opened. He went for the popcorn and put a huge chunk of it in his mouth all at once. It explained the crumbs on his black jeans and Nirvana shirt.   
"I see that you remain the epitome of good fashion sense."  
"That's right. Nonchalance is the most important factor when pulling off a look."  
"How long have you owned that shirt, honestly? I remember you wearing it when we were on that school camp. Back when we were seventeen."  
The Nirvana shirt was not the only band shirt of Kylo he remembered. He had a closet full of them, if he bothered folding them and putting them there, instead of throwing them on the floor. Death cab for cutie, Pearl Jam, Arcade fire, Queens of the stone age. He must have spent a fortune at hot topic. A steady investment, apparently.  
"Aren't you the perceptive type." Kylo made his game character sneak up to a closed door, kick it open and shoot three enemies in the face. Perfect head shots. "Good memory, too." The character turned around and shot another bad guy that had been creeping up to him from behind. "You'd do great at university."  
"Things are going well, glad you asked."  
Kylo chuckled. "I never thought anything less from you, Sir Hux. Expectations are... sky-high."  
"I have an internship now."  
“Well, well! You are right on track, then.”  
“On track to what?”  
“The track of becoming a paragon of virtue in our civilized society.”  
Hux couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Hardly. Not with my major.”  
“Interior design, was it?”  
“Architecture.” Hux held his chin up high, nose upward in the stale air of Kylo’s room. There was a large poster above his bed that said ‘SEE YOU IN HELL’. “With a focus on interior.”  
“Great.” Kylo looked up to him, a broad grin splitting his face. “You can give my garage a make-over!”  
“Yeah… That’s not what I do. Not that you don’t need one.”  
“Aw.” Kylo pouted, his head to one side. “They’re still not trusting you with anything more than their coffee order?”  
At his work (as he had come to call his internship by then), Hux did most of the planning, assisted with technical drawings and managed the purchasing for multiple projects. He hadn’t brought his coworkers coffee once. They had their own machine at the office, next to the pool table. But he didn’t even feel like going there. Kylo always wanted Hux to explain himself, to get on the defensive. It didn’t work so well now that he was aware of that.  
“Is the supermarket letting you bag now?”  
“I don’t work there anymore. I quit.”  
He said it so casually, as if it was all a big nothing.  
“You quit? When?”  
“Last month. I guess.”  
“Why?”  
“Fucking hell, Hux, I can’t help it that the mere _thought_ of seeing value in anything other than a fucking _day job_ scares you.”  
The character on the screen got shot. Kylo returned his attention to him, cursing through his teeth.  
“I put value in many other things,” Hux began, but stopped himself. “That’s not the point. What are you going to _do_?”  
“What are you going to do, what are you going to do,” Kylo mimicked him. It wasn’t a very good imitation- his voice was not as high-pitched as he made it out to be. “What about your career? How will you ever get a mortgage? Oh, Ren, what is to become of you, you dirty hippie, low-life scum, you piece of uneconomical trash?”  
Hux had no idea how to respond to that, so he kept his mouth shut.  
“Listen, Hux, since you’re too dumb to figure out what I thought everyone figured out when they’re fifteen: the _system_ -“ he made air quotation marks- “is bullshit. It’s all made up to make hamsters like you run around in your fairy tale Disney cartwheel. Forever. And you, you fucking normie, like it that way, because you never take a fucking look outside of your comfortable fucking cage.”  
“Kylo,” Hux said, “I’ll interrupt this rant right now, alright?”  
“Well, I guess you _have_ listened to it before,” Kylo snickered.  
“Correct. Many times…”  
“Oh, look, now he’s going to pretend he didn’t agree,” Kylo mumbled through his teeth, “when he was always super on board with everything I said.”  
“Yes, and we were also super stoned. Anyway. Ignoring ‘the system’ and all it entails. How are you going to afford your own place? You told me you really wanted to move out. That’s why I’m wondering.”  
“I don’t fucking know.”  
“And what do your parents say?”  
“Who cares? Fuck!” Kylo snapped, shouting at his Xbox. “Goddammit!” He threw his controller and it hit the floor with a worryingly loud, cracking sound. “That was you, distracting me with your stupid-ass questions, by the way.” He threw Hux a look that could have killed him on the spot. It was a good thing that Hux did not care for his friend’s antics.  
“I know you’re not angry at me. You’re angry at yourself.”  
“Oh, fuck off,” Kylo said, pressing his hands to his face. “You know what you need to do? Hear yourself say that. Fuck off, mister ‘I-think-I’m-a-fucking-therapist-because-I-went-to-an-introductory-class-this-one-time.”  
Hm. How did he know that?  
“Probably because there was some preppy bitch you were chasing after who also took it.”  
“I usually take classes when I’m intellectually curious about its subject.”  
“Go fuck yourself, Hux.”  
“And I know that you could do it, too.”  
“Do what?”  
“Go to college.” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t believe how dumb half of them are. And they can do it just fine. It’d be a breeze for someone like you.”  
“Hm.”  
“I’m serious. And it’s not that expensive, either.”  
“Hm. But I don’t want to.”  
Hux sighed, and, after a moment of hesitation, sat down next to him on his bed. “I’m just telling you: it’s completely possible. And it isn’t too late. You could be there for the spring semester if you’d send your application tomorrow.”  
Kylo didn’t answer.  
“You know… theoretically. As a figure of speech.”  
"I could still make some money and put it aside," Kylo muttered. "Work at the shop."  
"Your uncle's shop?"  
"Yeah. Mom's been nagging me about it. Pay doesn't sound too bad."  
"So do it."  
"If I do it, it won't be because you want me to."  
"Noted with thanks."  
Kylo took a deep breath and blew all the air out of his lungs. His back was arched in a way that suggested he had been sitting in the same spot for days, maybe weeks, even.   
"Or because I want to be like you."  
"Am I that abhorrent?"  
"Yes. You are awful," Kylo stated and got up to pick his controller up from the floor. "You make me sick."  
"Right. Of course I do."  
"You're different," Kylo added. It was at a lower volume than what he had said prior but Hux heard it just fine. He looked over to him, checking his expression- it was the same as before, eyes locked to the TV screen.  
"In a good or bad way?"  
He just shrugged.  
"Come on, tell me."  
"Nah. Just thinking to myself, 'wow, Hux is one hell of a phony'. But then, I think to myself, 'hasn't he always been one, though'?"  
"Maybe I've... I don't know, grown up a bit?"  
"Fuck you."  
"Alright, alright. Sorry." Hux smiled to himself, quietly, moving closer to Kylo. Not much closer. Maybe an inch. He stopped when he was certain Kylo could feel his thigh against his own. He did not do anything to acknowledge the distance was now more or less closed. He took a handful of popcorn, instead, chewing it down aggressively. The movements of his jaw were almost in sync with the shots he fired in-game, Hux marveled. He was so weird.  
"Don't you know this game by heart?"  
"Yeah. I was trying to speed-run through it without taking any damage. Until you fucked it up."  
"I have to say, your coordination is still decent," Hux said, waiting for him to bite.  
"What do you mean, 'still'," Kylo grumbled. A response time of less than a second. Impressive.  
"Oh, you know. With the excessive use of cannabis, and all."  
That made Kylo laugh. Really laugh- Hux could tell, because he was hardly making any sound while doing it and squinted so much his eyes were nothing but two black lines. He had to pause the game. It returned to its start screen. Kylo pressed his palms to his mouth.   
"Fuck, that was funny. I'm having the hiccups, now."  
"First time I have heard anyone describe the irrevocable loss of young brain cells as 'funny'."  
"Shut the fuck up, man, you're killing me," Kylo heaved and gave Hux a push to his arm. Hux pushed back. Kylo pushed him again.  
"When you... You were the one keeping the stash. You were the one who was always out when I asked for a gram... Goddamn!"  
"Watch it. I have lots of incriminating evidence on you."  
That earned him a smack across the face. He tried to hit Kylo back. Kylo moved so swiftly Hux had no chance to stop him: he dodged his arms, grabbed Hux by his wrists and pushed his hands to his bed. Hux struggled, sure, but it was more of a performance than it was a genuine attempt to free himself. Kylo leaned towards him until he was so close Hux could see the chestnut shade in his eyes. He opened his mouth, only to move away again when Hux reacted and tried to get closer. His lips curled into a smile, completely incapable of hiding his amusement.  
"Is that why you're here?" he whispered.   
Hux tried to breathe as he helplessly felt his face turn red. Without loosening his grip on his wrists, Kylo bit into Hux's lower lip. Hux tried to move his arms. He couldn't. How was it possible, he thought to himself with envy and a deep sense of injustice, that he was this strong when he did nothing but play on his Xbox all day? How?  
He was only let go because Kylo allowed it. Hux's hands went straight to Kylo's hair. This was something of a ritual, following the natural order of things. It was soft and smooth under his fingers. Uncombed, obviously- but clean as could be. Kylo Ren enjoyed long, hot showers, around one in the afternoon. It was also obvious he enjoyed it when somebody touched his hair. He closed his eyes, sighed and let go of Hux's lip, who immediately retaliated and kissed him. 

  
There was nobody in the world he would rather kiss than Kylo. He tasted like caramel popcorn and he was lazy and sloppy, yes, but not to his detriment. Hux could have spent hours feeling his thick, warm tongue move against his, and an equal amount of hours dreaming about it afterwards. He felt every little sound he made, every (involuntary) quiver. Knowing that it was his hands in his hair and his tongue in his mouth that made Kylo tremble was intoxicating. He couldn't think anymore.   
Kylo's hands started to wander. He tried to wedge them under Hux's three layers of clothing: sweater, shirt, undershirt. Hux mirrored his movements and found his skin much quicker.   
"Wait," Kylo broke their kiss and jumped off the bed in a surprisingly effortless move. He locked his door, then looked over his shoulder, to Hux. An unspoken conspiracy buzzed between the two of them. Hux felt it, and he was positive Kylo could feel it, too.   
"I'll go throw on some music."  
No, oh hell no. That was not part of the deal. "You don't have to," he said, hastily. Kylo, already on his way to his stereo, raised his eyebrows.   
"Do you want her to hear us?"  
"I'll be quiet."  
"Doubt," Kylo chuckled to himself.  
"What?"  
"You weren't so quiet last time. Or before that. Or ever."  
Hux checked the door, the windows, looking out on the driveway. Kylo’s garage was situated lower than the rest of the house and its windows were about level with the pavement. He couldn’t even see his car from the bed. The blinds were closed and who would go there, anyway? "I'll try. Okay?"  
"Whatever you want." Kylo walked the three steps to his bed and used his velocity to press Hux to his mattress. "Don't blame me when the neighbors call the police.”  
Hux caught Kylo in his arms and they collided, pressed closely together, fighting with each other’s clothes. Hux pulled Kylo’s shirt over his head and threw it in a corner. He didn’t give himself time to admire his now exposed chest, his flat stomach (how?!), and the way his hip bones stood out, and moved on to his jeans.  
“Again: what the fuck are you wearing,” Kylo complained. He slapped Hux’s hands away and tugged at his sweater. “Goddammit.”  
“Fine, I’ll do it,” Hux hissed and removed all three of his layers in one go. He knew Kylo wouldn’t be able to resist, and like clockwork there he was, his lips and the tip of his tongue on his throat, his collarbones. A little suck at both of his nipples. A kiss on his navel. Annoyed at Hux’s belt and trousers barricading his descent he was rather aggressive when he opened them and pulled it all down in one swoop. Hux kicked his feet, pushing the fabric off his legs and onto the floor. Kylo licked his stomach. His hips ached up, out of his control.  
“Patience is a virtue,” he said, pushing Hux’s chest to keep him down. With his other hand he reached in his boxers and grabbed his erection tightly, so tightly it took Hux’s breath away. He started moving his hand up and down, in a slow rhythm. He knew this was torture for him. He had to know- and he relished in it.  
“You leave,” he whispered, his dark eyes locked to Hux’s like a snake. “You leave, but you come crawling back… to Kylo… jobless, ambition-less Kylo… nerd, loser Kylo…” He fastened his grip and upped the pace to coincide with his words. “Whatever- you tell- your so-called- friends… you come back- to Kylo- cause- you want- his big- cock.”  
“I drove here,” Hux protested, unable to stop his hips from moving along with Kylo’s hand. “I drove here and your name isn’t even fucking Kylo, that was your world of warcraft character, for fuck’s sake-“  
Kylo squeezed. “Ssh.”  
Hux squirmed, his hands clasping the sheets.  
“That’s better.”  
Hux gave up fighting and closed his eyes. He let Kylo pull down his last remaining piece of clothing and laid there, waiting. He felt his fingers in his pubic hair, and, when he pressed himself against him, how hard he was. Kylo didn’t say a word. He never said much, from a certain point. There were no words, no compromises. Kylo flipped him around and pinned him to the mattress. His hands were cold and they were everywhere. Feeling his thighs- first the outside, then the inside- his sides, his spine. He had a strange way of pinching him underneath his lower ribs and above his hips, gently pushing his thumbs in his skin. As if he was performing some sort of physical exam. It was something Hux did not understand, and it tickled a little, but he had never asked about it. He would never think to interrupt him because he knew what happened next.  
Cluttering next to his right ear told him that Kylo had found his lube. As far as Hux knew, he was the only one he used it with. The first time they did it, it had already been there, in the same place as it was now, underneath his bed, in the corner: completely invisible if you didn’t know where to look. Kylo had downplayed that it was there, avoided his questions. As if it had been a lucky coincidence that it just happened to be there. Hux had never believed him. Kylo didn’t have to admit to any weakness. Not as far as he was concerned.  
Hux pressed his forehead to Kylo’s sheets when he felt his fingers move around. He loved it but it wasn’t enough, nowhere near being enough. He felt his heart everywhere as it desperately pumped his blood around, his whole being holding its breath. He wanted it so badly he couldn’t even hide it.

  
“Wait,” he heard Kylo mumble.  
“What?”  
“Wait.”  
Kylo rolled to his back, right next to him. He grabbed Hux’s sides, lifted him up (effortlessly) and moved him on top of him, his knees on either side of him. When Hux understood what he wanted he turned red in an instant.  
“I wanna see you,” Kylo said. He ran his fingers down Hux’s chest, down to his stomach.  
“But… We’ve never…”  
“It’s okay.” Kylo smiled. “We can do this.”  
“Okay,” Hux said, breathlessly. He lowered himself slowly, carefully, on top of him. He felt the tip of his cock find its way inside and bit his lip. It hurt. It always did. It was a feeling he never really got used to. Maybe if they did it more often. They just didn’t have many chances. Trying to keep his balance and stay in control he moved further down, inch by inch. Kylo’s breath had gotten a lot louder. “Fuck,” he gasped. “Oh, fuck!”  
God, he loved how full he made him, how big and thick he was inside of him- too much and just enough simultaneously. And he was big, so big Hux had hesitated the first time around, convinced he wouldn’t be able to take him. After so many times he had learned that he had nothing to fear. Once he was warmed up he could handle anything he did to him.  
Kylo started to move, holding him down and thrusting himself further inside him. Hux peeked at him through his lashes. His chest rose and fell as he tried to get enough air in his lungs and tiny drops of sweat were on his forehead. His hair was draped on the bed, framing his features like a black crown, like a dark cloud- he was so damn beautiful, Hux thought, especially like this. He hit him in all the right spots, and again, and again. Hux shut his eyes and threw his head back, listening to his friend’s low moans, the sounds that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him, sounds that only he could get him to make.  
“Armie,” he panted.  
“Yeah?”  
“Ride me harder.”  
Was it even possible to feel warmer than he already did? Hux did what he asked, setting his palms firmly on Kylo’s chest for stability. Sweat dripped down his face. He watched it fall on Kylo’s stomach. Kylo set his nails in the skin on Hux’s back, searching for something to hold on to. There would definitely be scratches, he was probably bleeding, but Hux hardly felt it. How could he, with Kylo Ren’s cock deep inside of him? There was no space in his consciousness for anything else.  
“Fuck,” Kylo yelled. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, please, please, please…”  
Hux shuddered. He enjoyed it when Kylo begged. He pushed himself as far as he could go. “Like this?”  
“Ah! Yes, fuck, yes, like that,” Kylo breathed, and moved along with Hux, timing his thrusts so well it almost felt as if they were a single body. It didn’t take long before he started to make so much noise Hux was actually getting concerned someone might hear him. Or the bed. Hux closed his eyes, listening to everything Kylo screamed at him, every curse, every profanity, making mental notes of it all, locking it in his memory. He wanted it, all of it. Kylo Ren’s orgasms were his and his alone.

  
“I can’t hold it- _God_ ,” were the last words he cried out. It was all unintelligible from there. He clasped Hux’s back with so much desperation it made him gasp in pain. At the same time, he enjoyed every time he hurt him. Every time he slammed himself inside of him without restraint. Hux was fine with all the marks he had left on his body. He wore them underneath his clothes and would feel them burn on his skin sometimes, at unguarded moments- in a classroom, at his work. In the middle of a meeting. They were prizes to him. He clenched his jaw as he vaguely felt Kylo’s hands make new injuries, somewhere in the background of his awareness. He sighed, wallowing in his most beloved mix of pleasure and pain as Kylo came inside him, throwing his head back in an attempt to breathe. It didn’t look like it was working. Hux didn’t remember ever having seen him this spent. He loosened his grip on Hux and his arms fell to his sides. All he could do was pant. Hux noticed his hands were trembling. He reached out his hand, laid it to his cheek. His face was hot and wet with sweat.  
“Are you okay?”  
Kylo didn’t answer because he was still trying to regain his breath. “God fucking damn,” he whispered after a while. He looked up at Hux and shook his head. “You are…” He sighed. “I don’t know… how you do it.”  
“How I make you come?” Hux muttered. “Harder than anyone else can?”  
“How you take me so easily,” Kylo looked at him, musingly, his voice slow and fuzzy. “Just looking at you you’d never say…No one would be able to guess…”  
Hux didn’t comment. This was yet another thing he wouldn’t waste his breath on and was happy to keep to himself.  
“Here,” Kylo said drowsily and handed Hux a bunch of tissues he kept on his bedside.  
Hux mumbled a ‘thanks’ and got up. Even now, Kylo was big. Hux shivered when he slid out of him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to enjoy the sticky, wet mess he had made inside of him as much as he did. But he did. It didn’t even matter to him where Kylo’s come ended up, as long as it was his. That was all he could say about it.  
He threw the bundle of tissues in the bin right next to the bed. He had long stopped questioning his mate’s habits and his lack of shame. Right now, he simply appreciated that Kylo was always prepared, always ready to have him.

“Hey,” Kylo wrapped his arm around Hux’s waist.  
“Hm?”  
“Sorry, man.”  
“What for?”  
“Your back. Looks painful.”  
Hux shrugged.  
“Come here.”  
“Where?”  
“Here.” And, when Hux didn’t move: “Next to me, dumbass.”  
Hux laid on his back, feeling slightly awkward being so close to him again. Kylo usually fell asleep almost immediately after fucking him and would protest at the lightest touch. He didn’t want to ask what was different this time, afraid to break the spell. He wanted to be in Kylo’s warmth as long as he would let him.  
“Good,” Kylo said. “Stay there.”  
“What, why…” Hux asked. Kylo pushed his blanket off them. It was clear what he was up to- he parted Hux’s legs with two gentle pushes left and right and sat down in between them, on his knees. Hux felt his heart take off in a panicked frenzy. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t really going to do this, was he?  
After all they had just finished doing, he still felt more exposed and naked in this position than he had before. His instinctive response was to move away from Kylo. His second, more conscious response was doing the opposite. The two sides of his mind fought a quiet battle and he didn't move at all. All of his muscles were painfully tense. Kylo kissed his navel and made an amused comment about how much redder he was downstairs.   
"I know," Hux whispered. His voice wouldn't come out properly.  
"It's cute."  
"It's not."  
"I think it is. Like your freckles."  
"Stop talking," was all Hux could say.  
"Shh," Kylo hushed him. "Let me enjoy my first amendment rights."  
"No," he protested- but he sounded meek, even to himself. Kylo sent him the sweetest smile, kind and sugary and fuzzy- silently laughing at Hux right before he took him in his mouth.

One day, in class, it must have been their graduation year, Hux's mind had started to wander. It had been about three in the afternoon and the remnants of the day's warm sunlight had made the classroom air lethargic and heavy. He hadn't slept too well, in fact, he hadn't been sleeping too well that entire week, and after a long and uninspiring day (no tests, no new material, just gym class and leftover homework) he feared he would fall asleep at his desk. Searching for a distraction that would keep him awake for a minute or two, he looked around the classroom. A couple of world maps would have been nice, or even better: animal drawings in biology class. Unfortunately, he was sitting in the English Lit class and there was nothing catching his eye. He knew every poster on the walls. They were announcements of events that had taken place years ago. Some of them were curling at the edges and wouldn't be on the walls for much longer. He turned his eyes to his desk. There were no inscriptions, no carvings, no hidden messages. He looked outside. Not much of note there, either: the classroom looked out on a car park. Hux sighed and looked over to Kylo, sitting next to him.   
"I know, right?" he mumbled.  
Hux nodded, making a face.  
"Bo-ring," Kylo mouthed, without a sound.  
That was when he first saw Kylo's lips- _really_ saw them. He had looked at them so often they kind of just blended in with everything else in his daily life, which was, all things considered, a big blur to him, filled with assignments and homework and essays and exams, and they were all he cared about. His friends, and even Kylo, were placed in the background. Supporting cast. Window dressing to his curriculum, a welcome distraction when the stress built up too high. This was worse than a distraction, however, and it was glaringly obvious to him from the start that it would be. He didn't know what it was about him that made him feel what he felt. He couldn't even define what he felt. Something made Kylo's mouth stand out to him; his thick lips, or the way he made them pout, the shapes they made when he formed words? How the fuck had he never noticed how full they were before?  
"What?" Kylo asked silently.   
Hux blinked and quickly cast his eyes down, realizing he was staring. There was no way he could make himself forget about it now. When he was sure it was safe he glanced over again. Fuck. They were almost too much, too good to be out in the open like this. Almost.   
It was wrong to think about Kylo this way, he was sure of it. And yet he couldn't help it. 

He couldn't look away. Because those lips he had spent so much alone time dreaming about were now tightly around his cock, and because he couldn't believe it was happening without visual confirmation. Kylo moved up and down, slowly, licking him with enthusiasm as if his cock was some sort of candy to him. It was all so much to feel at once. How wet he was making him, how warm his mouth was, the way he could feel his throat when he made him slide inside deeper than before. He was completely at his mercy and somehow, it was much easier than he had feared. Kylo's mouth was so good it made him forget he didn't like being vulnerable, didn't like handing over control. It was so good he would have said anything just to make him take all of his length in his mouth once more. Anything. Just to hear him moan a little when Hux pushed himself deeper. And moan harder when Hux grabbed him by his hair to hold him where he was. He would have told him he was a guitar genius. That his taste in music was the shit. That he should show his high school poetry collection to a publisher. That he was manager material. He would have told him a guy like Kylo didn't really need a job, that he shouldn't listen to his parents. That he was a capable and immensely talented young man with a deep, misunderstood soul who deserved the world just for being so awesome. Lying on his bed like he was, Hux kind of believed it. There was more to Kylo than other people knew. A complete failure would never have been able to give him a blowjob this perfect. 

He tried to get his hips under control. His legs and feet were squirming somewhere beyond his reach. Sounds rolled out of his throat, unfamiliar even to himself. However loud he had been previously, this was worse. Kylo cast him looks through his lashes. He knew what was up. Hux curled his spine in an uncomfortable twist and felt Kylo's tongue push him over the edge. He gasped for breath; it hardly brought him any air. Kylo held him down and sucked everything out of him. He swallowed, and swallowed again.   
I'm fucking dead, Hux thought, his head heavy and hazy and his senses numb. Every inch of his skin tingled, and at the same time, seemed to send soothing and calming messages to his brain, encouraging him to close his eyes and take a well-deserved rest. Kylo planted a kiss on his cheek.   
"Happy now?" he said. Even with his eyes closed Hux knew he was smiling; he could hear it in his voice. He switched the eerie milk white glow of the TV screen off with the remote, then laid down next to him and pulled the blankets over the both of them before Hux could even begin to feel cold. He put his arms around him and spooned him.   
If he could do this now, what had stopped him before today, Hux wondered as his mind drifted further and further away. He fell asleep quickly, much easier than he had managed any other day of that week. He could feel bits of Kylo in his neck; his nose and his forehead, until he settled in a sleeping position and joined him. 

Judging from the glow-in-the-dark hands of Kylo’s wall clock they had been asleep for about an hour. Hux’s head felt groggy, as if reality seeped in in slow-motion. Last time, he had just left after Kylo had had his way with him; he had gotten in his car and had managed to drive home. He wasn’t sure what had changed- if something had changed- but this, sleeping next to him, being around him when they weren’t completely blind with animalistic lust? It was different. Just like we used to do, he thought quietly. When we didn’t do much else.  
Kylo was carefully caressing his side.  
“Jesus. Do you want a band-aid, or something?”  
“Nah, I’m good.”  
“I mean, it’s not bleeding anymore, but I think there’s some on my sheets…”  
“Fuck.” Hux got out of bed as if a wasp had stung him. “You need to get that cleaned. Right now, before it dries.”  
“Hey, relax. It’s no thing.”  
Kylo switched on his bedside lamp. They inspected the sheets. There were specks of blood, but nothing too big or too alarming.  
“Thank god. I didn’t feel like going to the laundromat,” Hux said.  
“I’ll just put it in the laundry later. I really don’t mind.” Kylo tapped on the mattress. “Come back!”  
Hux returned to his side, reluctantly.  
“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispered, holding him close. “Tell me how to make it up to you.”  
That was easy. Difficult to ask for, but an easy answer.  
“Do you have any weed?”  
“Oh, Mr. Hux,” Kylo wooed. “How vulgar. How bougie of you.”  
“Shut up. Do you have some?”  
“Do you even have to ask? Of fucking course.”  
“I want some.”  
“You want it, you got it.” Kylo pressed his lips to Hux’s. “It’s probably good for you, ya know?”  
“What, because I’m so uptight? I didn’t hear you complain just now.”  
Kylo chuckled. “Alright, alright.” He let his fingers run through Hux’s hair. “Sometimes I wonder what those girls- and guys- at your school would say if they knew you got your ass fucked by me on the regular.”  
“They’d say nothing. It’s a very liberal college.”  
“I see, I see. Perfect for a guy like you.”  
“They’re a bunch of snowflakes.”  
“Yeah, and you’re the biggest of them all,” Kylo snorted and pinched his sides, making Hux twitch.  
“Fuck you.”  
“Okay, Armie, okay. Let’s take a shower and go outside to smoke, alright?”  
Hux was happy to go along with that idea.

They walked down the streets Hux knew so well. The air was getting cooler, but the final rays of sunlight were nice enough to wear t-shirts in. Hux sniffed. He smelled like Kylo’s shower gel; basic supermarket trash aptly named ‘dark temptation’. He needed to remember to bring his own bottle of body wash the next time he was over.  
“You wanna get a beer?” Kylo asked when they were near the neighborhood park.  
“I’m trying to limit my alcohol intake,” Hux said. The moment he finished his sentence he realized how stupid it sounded.  
“Why? Trying to get in shape?”  
Hux wondered what Kylo had done to see through him so flawlessly. Who had he sold his soul to? Were all of the hours Hux had spent at the campus gym showing on his face? He had no clue because they sure as hell weren’t showing on the rest of his body.  
“Yes.”  
“Oh, come on, Armie. You’ll be fine. Just a beer.”  
“Well, alright. If you’re having one.”  
“I’ll have more than one,” Kylo boasted and reached his arms up to the sky. “I fucking love Saturdays.”  
It was a mystery why because he didn’t have a job and had nowhere to be on weekdays, but Hux chose not to say anything. It was nice to walk next to Kylo. He had to be honest- this shirt fit him well. It had a print of palm trees with a purple and red sunset behind them, invoking some kind of faraway beach- Miami, probably- atmosphere. All in pixels.  
“I like your shirt,” he said.  
“Thanks. It’s vaporwave. It goes with the choke.”  
“I have no idea what you just said.”  
“It’s an aesthetic.” Kylo looked at his shirt, trying to come up with an explanation. “Never mind.”  
Whatever it was, it couldn’t have much to do with the Introduction to Aesthetics class Hux was taking this fall semester. He laughed a bit, at his dear stoner friend, at himself, at this whole situation. Nobody from his college was here and nobody would see him with Kylo. And even if they would, even if they were here right now, he wouldn’t give a fuck.  
They passed the store Kylo worked at- had worked at, Hux corrected himself.  
“I thought you wanted to get beer?”  
“Yeah, let’s not go in there. The liquor store is right around the corner.”  
“Tell me, what did you do to get fired?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Well, that makes sense, then.”  
Kylo laughed. “You know me.”  
“Yeah, I do.”

  
They got a six-pack of chilled beers at the liquor store and carried it out to the park, which was almost right next to it. They walked a bit further to the back of it, to avoid other people. They had a favorite bench and it happened to be unoccupied. Hidden as it was between thick layers of foliage and an enormous willow tree they were safe from any odd look and passerby’s.  
Kylo lit the blunt. He had rolled it himself, Hux could tell from the way the paper was slightly too tight and the tip was too short. It worked just fine, though. Kylo kept the smoke in his lungs for a long time and only breathed out when Hux had taken his first hit.  
“Fuck me, this is good stuff,” he sighed. He was right.  
“Hand me one of those bottles,” Hux asked.  
“I thought you didn’t want one.”  
“I want one now.”  
“Suit yourself, fitboy.”  
They opened the bottles with an opener Kylo had fixed to a metal ring on his jeans, a habit he had had for at least three years. They clinked the bottles. Hux passed the joint back to Kylo.  
“Wouldn’t it be cool if we could go up there?”  
Hux looked beside him, slowly. Everything was slow, now. “Where?”  
“Up there.” Kylo pointed to the sky. Some company logos were back there, on high poles and flags. Burger king. Olive Garden. Game stop.  
“What, Game stop?”  
“No, up there. Space, motherfucker.”  
Hux entertained the thought, just for fun, looking up at the bright stars above them. He felt like they became more numerous, and brighter, every minute.  
“Apply to NASA. Send them your resume.”  
“Not with NASA. I mean, go by ourselves.”  
“Yeah, good luck, space cadet.”  
Kylo blew the smoke from his nose. “It’d be nice. That’s all I’m saying.”  
“That stuff you rolled is making you think weird shit.”  
“Tell me the brilliant ideas floating around in your beautiful mind, then.”  
“Okay. If you really wanna know. I was thinking about that job fair we had in our final semester.”  
“Why?”  
“Back then I thought you’d join the army.”  
Kylo turned to him in a dramatic fashion, his brows high and his mouth in a disgusted twist. “The army?”  
“Yeah. Is that so weird? You were good at sports and you didn’t want to study.”  
“Who the hell do you take me for? Fuck the army,” Kylo spit over his shoulder.  
“I thought they might convince you,” Hux tried to explain himself. “I mean… You weren’t in the best place at the time.”  
“Even if I was fucking suicidal, I would never fucking _dream_ of joining the army. I’d neck myself before I even finished the thought.”  
“Miller joined. Miller, and Yang.”  
“Did they?”  
Hux took a gulp of his beer. “Pretty sure they did.”  
“That’s a fucking shame. I liked Yang. Nice guy.”  
“Yeah, so did I.”  
Kylo handed him the joint. “There’s still a couple of hits in there.”  
“Thanks.” He sucked on the end, breathing in as much of the stuff as he could. He needed this, tonight, on this evening.  
“I just can’t believe you thought I’d enlist,” Kylo shook his head warily.  
“I didn’t really think you would, I was just…” _Scared I would lose you_ , Hux continued his sentence in his mind, and didn’t speak it. “I was just thinking you’d like the benefits. The pay. The generic bullshit they tell you.”  
“The only thing I appreciate about the fucking army are the uniforms.”  
Hux blew a cloud of smoke. “We were high all the time, back then. That’s what I know.”  
“Sure were.” Kylo nodded, satisfied with himself. “Good times.”  
“Practically sleepwalking through life. It’s amazing we even remember.”  
“Meh. I remember that job fair. That day was when we first made out.”  
Hux’s heart squeezed and his knees felt so weak he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get up from the bench. It wasn’t just the weed. He remembered it, too; he had thought about it so often he had probably spent hours in total reliving that late afternoon. It surprised him that he hadn’t been the only one. He looked back at the sky.

  
“Hey, Armie,” he heard Kylo’s voice next to him. To his stoned mind, it sounded as if it came to him from the other end of a tunnel.  
“Yeah?”  
“You can stay over. Tonight. If you want.”  
The stars were so high and there were so many. It made him dizzy and he had to close his eyes. There was nothing in the world he wanted more. How did he know?  
“Alright,” he said.


End file.
